My child, I won't promise you ice cream, but I will promise you this...

This about did me in this weekend.  “But Daddy, Mommy PROMISED she would take me to the store this weekend. She always breaks her promises. She forget to print two things out for me this week too.”

Let’s look at the definition of promise:

Promise [ ˈpräməs ]

noun

1.     a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen:

synonyms: word (of honor) · assurance · pledge · vow · guarantee · oath ·

bond · undertaking · agreement · commitment · contract · covenant

2.     the quality of potential excellence:

synonyms: potential · ability · aptitude · capability · capacity

3.     an indication that something specified is expected or likely to occur:

synonyms: indication · hint · suggestion · sign

verb

4.     assure someone that one will definitely do, give, or arrange something; undertake or declare that something will happen:

synonyms: give one's word · swear · pledge · vow · undertake · guarantee ·

contract · engage · give an assurance · commit oneself · bind oneself · swear/take an oath · covenant · plight

I didn’t break a promise about the  store, I changed my mind. I get to  do that, I am the parent. And forgetting to print something out is called being human.

When did this word promise become part of our children’s vocabulary? Oh, at a very young age apparently.


“YOU PROMISED ME ICE CREAM” followed by the 3 year old tantrum

Really, ice cream is a vow, pledge, undertaking?  Here is what a promise to you my child, as your parent.  I will:  

Love you unconditionally like the day you were born.

Raise you in a Christian home.

Love you father.

Care for you when you are sick.

Make sure you have food on the table.

Make sure you have a roof over your head.

Make sure you have a shirt on your back and shoes on your feet.

Support you in your academics.

Help pay for college to the best of our abilities.

Support you in your afterschool activities, as long as they don’t interfere with academics.

Discipline you.

Teach you.

And once again, love you.

 

These, my child, are promises.

 

 

I refuse to raise a mean child. But ultimately the choice is up to them.

I have been having the same parenting conversation recently with one of my children and feel like I'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. 

 

"Mom, today (fill in any school circumstance in the class or on the bus where one child was the target of laughter) and I laughed a little too...is that bad?" Or, "Today I chimed in on and then I giggled only a little at so in so...."  "So in so was misbehaving on the bus, and I encouraged it a little too....but only a little..."  

 



Is there such think as laughing A LITTLE
at another child? No, to that child it looks like this.

 

I cherish the honestly and opportunity to parent, and it really shows the sweetness of my child. But I am plain sick of saying, "Don't give in to peer pressure and act like the other kids. You should have done this, or should have handled it like this, or next time, or WWJD? or fill in blank here____"

 

Last night the same conversation had a new twist. After yet another story, I explained AGAIN how her father and I were the target of laughter when we were children. "You know Mommy and Daddy were laughed at and that made them sad."

 

I could not believe the response my child gave back, who clearly is out parenting my parenting. 

"Well, look how great you turned out Mom. So I don't think I should really feel that bad."

 

Really? Are you kidding me?

I calmly said, "Look, I am tired of telling you how to you should act. You have a choice in life, to be one of these people in this category" (insert me pointing to imaginary Group A), "OR you can be one of these people over here." (Imaginary Group B.) "This group cares about other peoples feelings, and this other group cares what other people think.  I have a feeling if this happened at church, you would have handled it differently.  But you chose to fall under peer pressure and handle it like the rest of the group.  I am not going to tell you what group to be in, that is your choice. I know what group I would like you to be in, and what group God would like you to be in.  But you need to make a decision which group it is, and your everyday actions should match whatever group you choose to be in. I am going to leave the room now and give you time to think about it." Me pointing. "This group here or this one over here."

 

A look of fear set in and possibly a tear. "Wait mommy, I know what group I want to be in. Whichever one you just pointed to that was the nice group, because I can't tell just by you pointing at them."

 

I got a good chuckle, and I think the better choice will be made.

 

Motherhood turned me into an Animal

And many at that.   

One moment I'm a mama bird, firm on life lessons and consequences, pushing my baby bird out of the nest.   

Mess with my kids? I turn into a mama bear.

 

Then there’s the moment, “Mom, I don’t feel like you are listening…are you on Facebook?” and I want to put my head in the ground like an ostrich (after I comment on my friends post).
 

Not sure they are behaving?
I have the supersonic hearing of a bat.


When teaching my children,
I want to be a leader of the the pack.

During play, I want the freedom of
 a dolphin jumping in the sea beside them.  

 Those quiet moments when my children are hurt, scared or
 they have self doubt,
I am a  kangaroo with my baby back in my pouch.

When my children amaze me by just being..... themselves, I feel like a lion holding my mane up high a top a beautiful mountain. 
 

 And when my patience is tested,

I climb into a Eucalyptus tree quietly like a koala bear. 

Thankfully, the Eucalyptus tree sometimes has wine in it.

 

Like swans, I have found a mate for life who can help
navigate this parenting jungle.

And like the ants who team up to carry one piece of
food for the whole crew,
I have many family, friends and God to lighten the load.

But no matter where life takes us,
my children will always be as miraculous
 and fragile as a nest of baby eggs in the wild.   

 

 

 

The World has Winners and Losers

I am sure you fellow parents can agree, you get tired of hearing your kids whine about what they can't do or don't have.... "Why don't I know how to do _____ like so in so", "How come so in so gets to do ____ ", "How come they are better then me at _____"

After what seemed like hours of that one afternoon (okay, it was 12 minutes) I said, "Ya know what? (good parenting with the proper grammar already) There are winners and losers in this world."

The reply, "Are you calling me a loser?"

"No, but you have a decision to make about how you feel, sit here and feel sorry for yourself or start practicing what it is you wish you knew how to do and make a change for the better."

Oh, I felt real good (more awesome grammar) like maybe I had hit a home run. Let that sink in your little head. We are not gonna feel sorry for ourselves in this house!

The next day I was trying on clothes... hmmm, maybe if I lean this way the back fat won't be there, ooo, if I can just suck my stomach in, hmm, where did that come from? Maybe I can just find some  full body SPANX? 

I stared right in the mirror.... it rang in my head, "there are winners and losers in this world." I thought, how many times have I said to myself, "Why don't I look like so in so...." "How come I don't have ab's like so in so..." "How come my _____ doesn't look like that?" Well, because I am not really working at it. 

Well, I have decided in this instance, I am going to be become a LOSER and then I will be a WINNER.

What has been weighing on you that you need to change?  

           

Keep on Trucking

So this post is really for all of us out there who are trying to make something happen, who are getting inspired by all the quotes people put on Facebook, like, "Better to try than say you never did"... Or the new page quotes people are "pinning".. and I have to confess I also get inspired by American Idol! The singer in me who was not ever good at singing just loves that show!

A picture from my days in a singing group "Keep on Trucking"
Okay, not really, but look what you can get at Goodwill!

 So I am forever working on marketing my labor of love and I had to giggle yesterday as I worked all day  fancy-ing up my website and making a new YouTube video, while I had cleaners here cleaning the house around me!

I didn't even move for the vacumn.

Clearly if I didn't have the tunnell vision obsession for my sweet book,

I technically would be cleaning the house. 

BUT we all know which is more fun.

P.S. Thank you to my husband for indulging this dream of mine!

And truthfully, I was never very good at cleaning, but that is another blog post!

And I have added some new vocabulary to my Marketing 101

• Embedding is not something a tick does
• A mouseover is also quick like a rodent
• Pinning is very time consuming just like sewing, but they have nothing to do with each other...Oh I take that back, you could PIN sewing!  

It doesn't matter what your dream or passion is, just keep it alive...Alas, here it is....