The pieces of the puzzle that make up my life are floating in the water.
Every time the pieces get closer to each other, a wave comes by and pushes the pieces away.
You never get to see the big picture.
I read the below exert a year ago written by a man in his forties as a result of #metoo. It was part of his testimony - that he has had to defend women from "predators" his whole life.
After some time, the waves have settled and I have allowed the pieces to come together.
I am that little girl. My brother wrote those words.
And although I don't remember this part either, I had another protector that day, too.
|Looking out for bad guys at a young age|
This missing piece to my puzzle helps explains things...
I now know why I flinch when I am touched casually on the shoulder by any male, even family members or friends.
I now know why I literally fell onto my knees and almost threw up when another child said something accidentally troubling to one of my young girls.
I now know why I have always been adamant that my daughters didn’t ever have male babysitters.
I now know why I was extremely cautious if they ever went to a sleepover where there was a teenage male.
But something my husband said made this more acceptable, "maybe this is why you have a heart for injustices, and you so fiercely protect our girls. Those are really good things".
Unfortunately, I think this new puzzle piece is making it harder to let my daughters go as they are entering and near exiting high school. I have been able to protect them so far, but knowing they will be out in the big world and not protected from "predators" is a scary thought.
They laugh at my all too familiar "mom" routine whether they are going to a football game, movie or the mall...
"use the buddy system to go to the bathroom”,
“don’t take a drink from anyone”,
and “look around you constantly when you walk to your car”.
And, as I learn to let go, I pray nothing tarnishes the many puzzle pieces of their precious lives.