16 Truths for for a Happy Marriage

Do read the book “The 5 love languages” early in your marriage.

Don’t accept jewelry with “You should return this, it cost too much” because your love language isn’t gifts.

Do take your long hair out of your husband’s hairbrush if you use it.

Don’t share a hairbrush.  

Do tell your husband he is really, really tall.

Don’t decide to challenge his height by measuring how tall he really is.

Do make homemade meals for your husband.

Don’t get offended when your husband says your homemade pasta ravioli tastes like Olive Garden.

Do shower your husband with lots of attention.  

Don’t ignore your husband for a year after you have your first child.  

Do leave detailed instructions for your husband when he cares for the children as if he is a babysitter.  
Don’t offend your husband by saying it is like he is “babysitting” his own children.   

Do get a mommy’s helper occasionally if you are home with little children all day.

Don’t threaten to lock your husband out of the house if he is home five minutes late from work. 

Do act like you have missed your husband all day when he returns from work.

Don’t talk to the dog before you talk to your husband.

Do answer your phone when your wife is trying to reach you.

Don’t act like you are going to run over your husband when you finally get a hold of him. (especially in front of his business associate)

Do talk openly with each other.

Don’t tell your spouse, “Wow, it is hard for me to talk to you with that big zit on your forehead”

Do find the name of the closest drycleaner.

Don’t promise to iron if you don’t know how to iron.  

Do apologize to spouse when you are wrong.   

Don’t tell your spouse you have an “Unable to Apologize Disorder.”  

Do refrain from keeping secrets.  

Don’t tell your husband about late public library fees.

Do tell your spouse how smart they are.

Don’t feel the need to look up something on the internet to prove them wrong.

Do enjoy a sense of humor with your spouse.

Don’t enjoy a sense of humor at your spouse’s expense “all the time”

Do let your spouse know you can’t imagine your life without them.

Don’t follow that up with, ‘I can’t imagine life without our [newest dog]”.

Seriously, eat a family meal whenever you are together at dinnertime as a family.

And…

If I have a happy marriage, why did I spend my wedding anniversay crying?

It’s not because my husband forgot to buy me a card and his usual flowers. He did forget, but he’d had a long day and when he told me I actually laughed. I laughed because I bought him a card and I NEVER do! And then I forgot to give him the card, we both laughed.

It’s not because we got married on April Fool’s Day and he played a mean trick on me.  Or vice versa.

And it’s not because he fell asleep in his chair by 9:00 pm.

It’s simply because our children had left us flowers that morning of our anniversary and two homemade cards.

This one made me laugh

 The second card made me laugh too.

“It takes a lot of strength to keep a marriage alive this long. Don’t worry, you make it look easy.”

Any married person knows it is not easy. We realized a couple years ago that all our friends were not going to stay married, and it made us start to appreciate each other more.  

 I told our children how much I appreciated their thoughtfulness all day, which included a romantic “breakfast” dinner for two.

I wanted to shout from the roof top that it meant more to me than they could ever know, how happy I am that they are being raised with both their parents and to cherish every moment.  

Then it hit me, this girl from a “broken home” whose parents divorced when she was very young, was already is teaching them that. 

And that is why I couldn’t stop crying. 

 

Leaving of a legacy

When I first heard my 90 year old Grandma
had fallen ill and was terminal,
my first thought
(other than the gut wrenching sobbing and snot slinging)
was,

this...is the end..... of an era. 

 My mind said that she lived a wonderful and full 90 years,
but my heart was so very sad.

After travelling to NY to see her for the last time,
I no longer feel it is the end of an era.

 As God calls her home to be with my Grandpa
whom she loved dearly,
I now feel like it is the beginning of her legacy.



She is at home and most definitely
surrounded by love and family,

and it is how they are loving her that represents her legacy.

Loved ones praying for her,

gently holding her hand,

sleeping by her bedside or on the couch near her,

listening to the monitor in case she makes a sound,

giving medicine as needed,

calling from all over the world to let her know they love her

and hear her voice,

bringing flowers to her,

thanking her for everything she has done and 

all the prayers she has prayed,

 kissing her forehead,

and...

even arguing about what will make her most comfortable. 

 

Even in those moments of disagreement,

it is a example of how much she is loved.

 

 Not just one, but two priests came to pray with her at the house,

bring her communion and / or read her last rites.

If you include the priest from the hospital,

we think she had her last rites read three times, 

 she is in the Lord's hands.

 She is a witness for her love of the Lord

by the way she  clings to her rosaries saying prayers. 

 

 

 

This is all the mark of a woman who loved her children deeply,

all thirteen of them, 

and showed her family the power of love and prayer. 

 

A woman who taught those around her
to look at the world
 through rose colored glasses,

literally and figuratively.

 

She will be missed terribly,
as Grandpa is to this day,
however she will still live on in each person

that was lucky enough to know and love her.  

It is not just her legacy, but their legacy.

 And as she is being called home and takes this journey,

I pray for her to be at peace.

 

 

 

"Angels are everywhere,

one has only to be still to hear the rustle of a wing."

 

 

"Where did the love go?"

"I ate it."

As I am counting my Valentine Blessings and being thankful for the love in our home (and trying not to eat every wonderful sweet in sight!), I can't help but remember a conversation I had with my oldest when she was four years old.

It was time for bed and we had read our books and she said, "Mommy, tell me how your parents aren't married anymore..."

I said, "Well, they were married and when I was two, then they got divorced, which means you break up."

She said, "Mommy, no, I don't understand."

I said, "Well, sometimes when people are married, they don't get along..."

"Mommy, no, I don't understand."

"Well, you are married on a peice of paper and you have to go to a lawyer to get divorced."

"Mommy, no, I don't understand."

At this point I am like Help! "You go to a judge...."

Again, "Mommy, I don't understand, I mean... Where did the LOVE go?"

Sometimes as a parent you know God is by your side and helps you find the answer. I tearfully said, "Sweetie, I don't know where the love went, but what I do know is that your Mommy and Daddy love each other very much." It might not sound profound, but I know I had help when I said it! 

Oh, and we will have a whole different conversation when she is 14...like you can't date till you are 30, get to know someone really well... make sure you get along... and any boy will fill out the "Application to Date my Daughter"  as my husband cleans a gun at the coffee table... but I have time...

So you as you celebrate Valentines Day, I hope you feel loved and celebrate the love it your home, and remember the sweet verses below, also read at our wedding ~ 

 

13 Valentines & 13 (or something) pounds later ~
Happy Valentine's Day Honey!

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act  unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails... But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13