IMPORTANT: Watch out for these Lortab side effects NOT posted on the bottle

Recently when I was prescribed Lortab after shoulder surgery. I looked on the bottle at the possible side effects, but nowhere did I see the below warnings:

1. Excessive Shopping

So... when half asleep on Lortab, you can still use your phone...and if you can access websites and type the numbers on your credit card, you can also dangerously shop.  

As the packages started to arrive,
I thought, this medication should have a warning about this. 

 I tried to explain to my husband that it was a side effect, and then my oldest stared, “No, mommy you were just bored on the couch and decided to shop.” Tomato, tomatoe, I think it is a side effect.

2. Odd Cravings

I was warned that after the airway tube I would have a sore throat.  

Nowhere on the bottle did it say
I would consume cough drops
as if they were tortilla chips as a Mexican restaurant,
the first morning cup of coffee, or thin mint girl scout cookies. 

And, it was no bother to me that my kids looked on strangely as I would open random drawers, purses and the pantry looking for cough drops that may have accidentally fallen out of something years ago.

3. Uncontrolled movements

The Lortab taker is unaware, but while you sleep you will move your hands randomly as if you are dreaming about folding laundry.  Who am I kidding, who dreams about laundry? How about making s’mores, trimming a flower in the yard, or petting your dog.  This is apparently so disturbing to watch for those around, that a mini-intervention discussion was held 5 days into taking the medicine.   

4. Increased confidence

It is not uncommon after surgery to wear clothing that is comfortable. For me, since it was shoulder surgery, it was strapless cotton dresses. 

Nowhere on the bottle did it say
I would go out to lunch
with a GIGANTIC Maxi Pad on my shoulder.  

5. Memory Loss

And lastly, when you go to write thank you notes for the sweet people who came to see you while you were down, you may need to do a little research.

I am sure the soup was as delicious as the 2 lasagnas.
If you are reading this and you brought the 2nd lasagna,
let me know! 

Needless to say, my family was thrilled when I was vertical again, could put on a normal shirt, and stopped searching for cough drops.  When it comes to Lortab, just be careful. :-)