August 27, 2012

Trampoline Assembly for Dummies

Kids: "How long will it take?"

Husband: "It says it takes three really fit people to put it together."

Kids: "I'm hot" 

Me: "Let me know when you need some help." 

Kids: "Can I have a popsicle?"

Husband: "You just supervise, honey."

Me: "I'm only siting down so I could be out of your way"

Kids: "Can I have another Popsicle?" 

Me: "I gotta write this down, it would be a funny blog post."

Husband: "I could use your help."

Kids: "Are you actually writing this down for the blog?"

Husband: "That's all she does now is blog."

Me: "Did you read the instructions?" 
Kids: "Did you read the instructions?"
Husband: "I should have written the instructions."
The supplied tool on the left broke trying to pull  springs
Our tool on right, worked much better
  • Kids: "I think Daddy cussed." 
  • Me: "Maybe you need a break honey."
  • Husband: "Hey, I'm in charge of this!" 
  • Kids: "Are you taking a break Daddy?"
  • Husband: "Just get working."
  • 720 Minutes Later
Kids"Mommy's getting mad now. Mommy, maybe you need a popsicle?" 

Husband: " the final frontier." 

Kids "That wasn't too hard." 

August 21, 2012

The World has Winners and Losers

I am sure you fellow parents can agree, you get tired of hearing your kids whine about what they can't do or don't have.... "Why don't I know how to do _____ like so in so", "How come so in so gets to do ____ ", "How come they are better then me at _____"

After what seemed like hours of that one afternoon (okay, it was 12 minutes) I said, "Ya know what? (good parenting with the proper grammar already) There are winners and losers in this world."

The reply, "Are you calling me a loser?"

"No, but you have a decision to make about how you feel, sit here and feel sorry for yourself or start practicing what it is you wish you knew how to do and make a change for the better."

Oh, I felt real good (more awesome grammar) like maybe I had hit a home run. Let that sink in your little head. We are not gonna feel sorry for ourselves in this house!

The next day I was trying on clothes... hmmm, maybe if I lean this way the back fat won't be there, ooo, if I can just suck my stomach in, hmm, where did that come from? Maybe I can just find some  full body SPANX

I stared right in the mirror.... it rang in my head, "there are winners and losers in this world." I thought, how many times have I said to myself, "Why don't I look like so in so...." "How come I don't have ab's like so in so..." "How come my _____ doesn't look like that?" Well, because I am not really working at it. 

Well, I have decided in this instance, I am going to be become a LOSER and then I will be a WINNER.

What has been weighing on you that you need to change?  


August 12, 2012

Hope through Adversity. Why I love the Olympics.

As I was watching Oscar Pistorius cross the finish line in the 400 meter Relay last Friday, I couldn’t help but remember the story about his family they had aired a week prior. That although he was born without his fibula bones and was a double amputee at 10 months, his parents never treated him any differently and he was a very active child.

I had a flashback of me as a child at our local city pool.  I was watching a mother and her baby intently. Her baby was in a carrier, wait, it may have been a stroller, when were baby carriers invented? Anyway, the animated mother was attentively and lovingly moving her baby’s legs and arms up and down, and massaging them.

It was an older baby and I didn't realize it had a birth defect and didn't respond or move any limbs.

An adult nearby me who knew the mother, said (and I  am not quoting verbatim as this was almost 100 years ago) but the jist was, “that child will never be able to do anything, I don't know why she is doing all that.”  

I remember thinking as a child, because she has HOPE...and love.

So many Olympic stories are of athletes and their families making it to the Olympics despite all kinds of adversity, from living in poverty to being victimized to being shot…or being born without their lower limbs in tact.

And I know, not every person who has Hope through
Adversity is going to be an Olympic “Success”.

But in my book, if you are able to be loving and maintain HOPE through ADVERSITY, YOU ARE A SUCCESS! 

So, as I mourn the end of the Olympics, sniffle, sniffle, you let your Hope grow like a mustard seed. 

Mark Chapter 4: Verse 31-32. 
31. "It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed you can plant in the ground. 32. Yet, when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade.”


August 9, 2012

The 3 Rules of Marriage

I am not sure what I enjoyed the most out of my brother's wedding last weekend...quality time with my husband and kids, great memories with my whole family, or the "3 Rules of Marriage" Wedding Ceremony.

Oh, who am I kidding... the Wedding Ceremony. The Irish Catholic Priest had a great Maine accent and a surprising comedic humor. It started out familiarly with Readings, Prayers, and my brother and his wife kneeling, kneeling, and kneeling some more.

Then the Priest spoke about his 3 Rules of Marriage, and this is where the good stuff began.

1- Forgive your spouse. 

"If your spouse is truly sorry for something, and asks for forgiveness, then they shall be forgiven by you."
Simple Enough.

2- Don't go into your Marriage thinking it is 50/50.

"Don't go into it thinking everything is 'supposed' to be equal. Then you start keeping tabs..I did this, they didn't do that... and you both get angry and you should be giving, not keeping score."
Simple Enough.

3- Don't air your dirty laundry in public. (my favorite)

My husband starts elbowing me on this one. I can't imagine why? Well, honey, I am truly sorry for every time I made a joke about something you did to all my friends, so I shall be forgiven, right?  

What I have learned:
There is usually only one person at a party
a lampshade on their head

The Priest continues, "For example, now I don't know if the groom ever takes a drink" 
(the whole congregation on both sides starts laughing aloud, we had a keg at the rehearsal) "but if he does, say they are at a paatty (party), and it is really late in the night, 
and he decides to put a lamp shade on his head. 

We all know he would look like a jerk. But his wife has to smile and claim that he looks like a cute jerk.....or a funny jerk......or even a sexy jerk. Then when they get home, she can chew him out. But not at the paatty...." 

Then my husband whispers, "You think he has been married?" I responded, "No, it's all the marriage counseling he has done!"

I don't think there was a dry eye in the house, and as my husband and I were holding hands and I had my head on his shoulder, it was a nice reminder of 3 things we needed to remember.

So best wishes to my brother and his new wife, and all the couples that were there who took something meaningful away from their ceremony....