I'm letting my life go to the dogs.

I was walking my dogs this morning around the green space in front our home.  

There isn't anything special about this grassy green space.   

It was actually line with trashcans today.

But my dogs were so excited to go around the circle.  Checking everything out, taking in everything for the first time.  Then we went around that same, ordinary circle, six more times.

But the funny thing is, my dogs were just as excited to go around the circle each additional time - as if each was the first time.  

Noticing something new to see each trip around.

 I began to think, how many times have I treated each day, or even a moment of the day, like a second trip around the "ordinary" circle. Thinking I was doing the same thing or routine, and just going around and around, and not really looking at it as anything special. 


So today, my eyes are open, and I am going to act more like my dogs. I'm not going to start peeing on everything and chasing chipmunks BUT, I am going to go around EACH round of that ordinary circle as if it were the first time.   

Recognizing that each trip around the circle is an opportunity to see something special.

Is there a butterfly to see, or a flower I didn't notice before, or a friend to wave at or talk to as I am walking around that "ordinary" circle?

Although I love my dogs, it would not be fair to give them all the credit for my eyes being wide open this morning.  Actually, this is my "first" day after My Walk To Emmaus.  And to continue in tradition of our gifted table of Ruth, I can summarize the experience in one word, "WOW".

I dedicate this post to all the Sisters that were there at the Georgia Foothills walk to Emmaus #26, as we now are walking with, not only our eyes, but our hearts wide open.  

Psalm 104: 1-3

Bless the Lord, O my soul! O Lord my God, you are very great!
 

You are clothed with splendor and majesty, covering yourself with light as with a garment, stretching out the heavens like a tent.
 

He lays the beams of his chambers on the waters; he makes the clouds his chariot;
    he rides on the wings of the wind;

I refuse to raise a mean child. But ultimately the choice is up to them.

I have been having the same parenting conversation recently with one of my children and feel like I'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. 

 

"Mom, today (fill in any school circumstance in the class or on the bus where one child was the target of laughter) and I laughed a little too...is that bad?" Or, "Today I chimed in on and then I giggled only a little at so in so...."  "So in so was misbehaving on the bus, and I encouraged it a little too....but only a little..."  

 



Is there such think as laughing A LITTLE
at another child? No, to that child it looks like this.

 

I cherish the honestly and opportunity to parent, and it really shows the sweetness of my child. But I am plain sick of saying, "Don't give in to peer pressure and act like the other kids. You should have done this, or should have handled it like this, or next time, or WWJD? or fill in blank here____"

 

Last night the same conversation had a new twist. After yet another story, I explained AGAIN how her father and I were the target of laughter when we were children. "You know Mommy and Daddy were laughed at and that made them sad."

 

I could not believe the response my child gave back, who clearly is out parenting my parenting. 

"Well, look how great you turned out Mom. So I don't think I should really feel that bad."

 

Really? Are you kidding me?

I calmly said, "Look, I am tired of telling you how to you should act. You have a choice in life, to be one of these people in this category" (insert me pointing to imaginary Group A), "OR you can be one of these people over here." (Imaginary Group B.) "This group cares about other peoples feelings, and this other group cares what other people think.  I have a feeling if this happened at church, you would have handled it differently.  But you chose to fall under peer pressure and handle it like the rest of the group.  I am not going to tell you what group to be in, that is your choice. I know what group I would like you to be in, and what group God would like you to be in.  But you need to make a decision which group it is, and your everyday actions should match whatever group you choose to be in. I am going to leave the room now and give you time to think about it." Me pointing. "This group here or this one over here."

 

A look of fear set in and possibly a tear. "Wait mommy, I know what group I want to be in. Whichever one you just pointed to that was the nice group, because I can't tell just by you pointing at them."

 

I got a good chuckle, and I think the better choice will be made.

 

Leave the Crazy behind this Christmas

Stop jumping up and down, I am not talking about having one less seat at the Christmas dinner table for "that" family member...

This is actually one of my normal relatives if that tells you anything.

While out shopping this Christmas Season, I was beginning to think, do I not like people anymore? Or have they just becoming more annoying? ...And parking a mile away is irritating... And why does someone have to sneeze on me in every store?

List, let me look at my LIST. Which BTW has been rewritten no less than ten times.

Thanksgiving was less than a month ago. I was so thankful...for everything...I couldn't post on the 30 days of Facebook thanks because I had 1,000 thanks. Too many things to post, it couldn't possibly fit in 30 posts. It was all pumpkin pie and scarecrows.  How quickly I forgot that Thanksgiving isn't a holiday, but a way of life.

Now I am cranky and irritated and way to busy with "Christmas Stuff".

 And I am having to budget in more time for a daily bath in hand sanitizer thanks to Sneezy.

Then I felt really ashamed, because many have a heavy heart this Christmas. Some people are reminded of those that have passed this time of year-whether many years ago or last year. Some people are leaving a loved one behind in the hospital to heal. Some people can't come home to be with their family.  And some people are mourning a very recent loss of a loved one.

 

So how dare I get irritated and impatient. For one, that is not what the Christmas Spirit is about... it is about love.

So hug your relatives extra tight this year, even the crazy ones.

Let your heart be filled - not with "Christmas Stuff" - but with many  thanks and "The Christmas Spirit", and love on those that have one less seat at the dinner table. 

Check this Back-To-School Item off your list

Backpack - check

Lunch box - check

Clothes - check

Shoes - check



School supplies - check. Even the last minute add-ons they do in the 11th hour.

And it's a big year here at our house, we have a MIDDLE SCHOOL-ER.

And though I have bought the necessary supplies, how do I prepare my children for bullies, snarky kids, and just plain mean people? 

We have already dealt with some not so nice mouthy kids. I offered three suggestions:

1. You gotta get thick skin and ignore them
2. Tell them something witty, like, "You will probably still be living with your parents when you are 40 and I will remember this when I am your boss"

3. Kindly offer them some laxative infused brownies

 

Number one turned out to be the best. 

And, I remember middle school.... aah.....Brandy was gonna beat me up on numerous occasions. Probably because I wore fake K-Mart Nikes or something silly like that.  We had a good laugh ten years later when I saw her and said, "Remember when...."

I am sure she is still living with her parents. 

So, as I was sitting in the Middle School parking lot on "Meet the teacher" night with my child, I saw one 6th grader wearing a backpack.  I casually said, "Ooo, aren't you glad you didn't wear your backpack on meet the teacher night?"
The reply after a long pause, "Mom, that's my friend."

Oops.  Just add that comment to my other one about the highlighters and pens in the outside pocket of the backpack looking baby-ish... Hey, I am parent of the year here.   
 

But a nice note written to my child from a fellow parent reminded me that maybe the tools our kids need aren't that far out of reach after all.  And I am going to learn to keep my mouth shut.  Really.

 

 

The Spirit of The League

We have all been there as parents.
Whether at a sporting event, school or recreational activity,
watching your child succeed at something and you find yourself tearing up
 - brimming over with pride and emotion -
and you may or may not refrain from yelling,
 "That's MY kid!"
 

 
It was a County Championship Swim Meet,
comprised of more 40 teams split among four sessions.
All the parents were seated comfortably in the stands

on the plastic flip down chairs made for really tiny people.

  (Reminiscent of an airplane,

but at least on the airplane there are only rows of three.)

 

"Excuse me, pardon me.. excuse me, pardon me, excuse me..,

excuse me... pardon me, excuse me, excuse me...."

 

In the third session, the stands were packed.

We all became very close.

 

Obviously, we are all cheering for our team's swimmers.

That's a given.

 But I noticed half way through the session,

once the parents around us realized who our kids were,

 they started cheering for our kids too.

It was no longer competitors with team spirit,

but parents-sharing in each other's joy.

Whether our "new friends" heard our child's name called,

saw they were heat winner, or just that they swam hard,

there was a nod of approval and parents were congratulating the
 parents from competing teams.

 

And when another teams swimmer broke their own sibling's county record,
we were all congratulating them.

(I won't mention their names because I got in trouble with my kids for talking about it,

 but I will so be looking for them at the Olympics!)

And then the moment came. 

 The parents right in front of us were watching their child
(from a competing team)
 in the final heat-in the fastest lane.
They went crazy, hollering, cheering, jumping up and down,
and then when he won, hugging and crying.

 

And that's when I found myself crying too,
because after all the competition is over,
we are all parents at the end of the day.   

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving of a legacy

When I first heard my 90 year old Grandma
had fallen ill and was terminal,
my first thought
(other than the gut wrenching sobbing and snot slinging)
was,

this...is the end..... of an era. 

 My mind said that she lived a wonderful and full 90 years,
but my heart was so very sad.

After travelling to NY to see her for the last time,
I no longer feel it is the end of an era.

 As God calls her home to be with my Grandpa
whom she loved dearly,
I now feel like it is the beginning of her legacy.



She is at home and most definitely
surrounded by love and family,

and it is how they are loving her that represents her legacy.

Loved ones praying for her,

gently holding her hand,

sleeping by her bedside or on the couch near her,

listening to the monitor in case she makes a sound,

giving medicine as needed,

calling from all over the world to let her know they love her

and hear her voice,

bringing flowers to her,

thanking her for everything she has done and 

all the prayers she has prayed,

 kissing her forehead,

and...

even arguing about what will make her most comfortable. 

 

Even in those moments of disagreement,

it is a example of how much she is loved.

 

 Not just one, but two priests came to pray with her at the house,

bring her communion and / or read her last rites.

If you include the priest from the hospital,

we think she had her last rites read three times, 

 she is in the Lord's hands.

 She is a witness for her love of the Lord

by the way she  clings to her rosaries saying prayers. 

 

 

 

This is all the mark of a woman who loved her children deeply,

all thirteen of them, 

and showed her family the power of love and prayer. 

 

A woman who taught those around her
to look at the world
 through rose colored glasses,

literally and figuratively.

 

She will be missed terribly,
as Grandpa is to this day,
however she will still live on in each person

that was lucky enough to know and love her.  

It is not just her legacy, but their legacy.

 And as she is being called home and takes this journey,

I pray for her to be at peace.

 

 

 

"Angels are everywhere,

one has only to be still to hear the rustle of a wing."

 

 

The World has Winners and Losers

I am sure you fellow parents can agree, you get tired of hearing your kids whine about what they can't do or don't have.... "Why don't I know how to do _____ like so in so", "How come so in so gets to do ____ ", "How come they are better then me at _____"

After what seemed like hours of that one afternoon (okay, it was 12 minutes) I said, "Ya know what? (good parenting with the proper grammar already) There are winners and losers in this world."

The reply, "Are you calling me a loser?"

"No, but you have a decision to make about how you feel, sit here and feel sorry for yourself or start practicing what it is you wish you knew how to do and make a change for the better."

Oh, I felt real good (more awesome grammar) like maybe I had hit a home run. Let that sink in your little head. We are not gonna feel sorry for ourselves in this house!

The next day I was trying on clothes... hmmm, maybe if I lean this way the back fat won't be there, ooo, if I can just suck my stomach in, hmm, where did that come from? Maybe I can just find some  full body SPANX? 

I stared right in the mirror.... it rang in my head, "there are winners and losers in this world." I thought, how many times have I said to myself, "Why don't I look like so in so...." "How come I don't have ab's like so in so..." "How come my _____ doesn't look like that?" Well, because I am not really working at it. 

Well, I have decided in this instance, I am going to be become a LOSER and then I will be a WINNER.

What has been weighing on you that you need to change?  

           

Hope through Adversity. Why I love the Olympics.

As I was watching Oscar Pistorius cross the finish line in the 400 meter Relay last Friday, I couldn’t help but remember the story about his family they had aired a week prior. That although he was born without his fibula bones and was a double amputee at 10 months, his parents never treated him any differently and he was a very active child.

I had a flashback of me as a child at our local city pool.  I was watching a mother and her baby intently. Her baby was in a carrier, wait, it may have been a stroller, when were baby carriers invented? Anyway, the animated mother was attentively and lovingly moving her baby’s legs and arms up and down, and massaging them.

It was an older baby and I didn't realize it had a birth defect and didn't respond or move any limbs.

An adult nearby me who knew the mother, said (and I  am not quoting verbatim as this was almost 100 years ago) but the jist was, “that child will never be able to do anything, I don't know why she is doing all that.”  




I remember thinking as a child, because she has HOPE...and love.

So many Olympic stories are of athletes and their families making it to the Olympics despite all kinds of adversity, from living in poverty to being victimized to being shot…or being born without their lower limbs in tact.

And I know, not every person who has Hope through
Adversity is going to be an Olympic “Success”. 

But in my book, if you are able to be loving and maintain HOPE through ADVERSITY, YOU ARE A SUCCESS! 

So, as I mourn the end of the Olympics, sniffle, sniffle, you let your Hope grow like a mustard seed. 

Mark Chapter 4: Verse 31-32. 
31. "It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed you can plant in the ground. 32. Yet, when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade.”

  

Technically, I am qualified....

 

I used to wear glasses in all my interviews after college so I would look smart-er
Maybe I just chose the wrong ones!

I have been asked by people who were simply curious, “What made you think you could write and illustrate a book?“ I have always been crafty and taken art classes my whole life, and have two brothers who are writers, but I guess that doesn’t technically qualify me….

In 2004, our friend’s son passed away a month shy of his 4th birthday from an aggressive brain tumor.  Our daughter was almost 2 when he passed away and she asked, “Do you celebrate your birthday in Heaven?” I remember that struck me as very “coincidental” because we did not mention his upcoming birthday. That is the first question I wrote down, I didn‘t know why, but I wrote it down.

Then in 2005, another friend’s daughter passed away at the age of 6 after a sudden illness. Our children were now 3 ½ and 1 ½, and a week later my oldest asked, “If I let a balloon go, will it go all the way to Heaven?” Also coincidental, as she did not attend the funeral and see the school-age children releasing balloons at the service. That was the second question I wrote down of many more to come, thinking “I should do a children’s book”

Some time later, we had dinner with our former pastor from Savannah and his wife. I had my folder of questions in the car. I shared my book idea with them and said I wanted to represent Jonathon in the book. At the end of dinner, Carol told me how 9 months after Jonathon died, his sister said “Mommy, I know what Jonathon does in Heaven! He paints the rainbow!” Little did she know, “Mommy, who paints the rainbow?” was just asked a week earlier and it was written down in the car.

You could have blown me over with a feather, and I knew at the moment, it wasn’t a matter of “I should do a book" it was, I “have” to do this book.  I began to tell people with a new confidence and determination, that I was going to do this book, I wasn’t sure how yet… but I was sure…

So, now you may ask… what qualifies me to do a blog? Well, I have two brothers that have blogs, so technically, I must be qualified!