16 Truths for for a Happy Marriage

Do read the book “The 5 love languages” early in your marriage.

Don’t accept jewelry with “You should return this, it cost too much” because your love language isn’t gifts.

Do take your long hair out of your husband’s hairbrush if you use it.

Don’t share a hairbrush.  

Do tell your husband he is really, really tall.

Don’t decide to challenge his height by measuring how tall he really is.

Do make homemade meals for your husband.

Don’t get offended when your husband says your homemade pasta ravioli tastes like Olive Garden.

Do shower your husband with lots of attention.  

Don’t ignore your husband for a year after you have your first child.  

Do leave detailed instructions for your husband when he cares for the children as if he is a babysitter.  
Don’t offend your husband by saying it is like he is “babysitting” his own children.   

Do get a mommy’s helper occasionally if you are home with little children all day.

Don’t threaten to lock your husband out of the house if he is home five minutes late from work. 

Do act like you have missed your husband all day when he returns from work.

Don’t talk to the dog before you talk to your husband.

Do answer your phone when your wife is trying to reach you.

Don’t act like you are going to run over your husband when you finally get a hold of him. (especially in front of his business associate)

Do talk openly with each other.

Don’t tell your spouse, “Wow, it is hard for me to talk to you with that big zit on your forehead”

Do find the name of the closest drycleaner.

Don’t promise to iron if you don’t know how to iron.  

Do apologize to spouse when you are wrong.   

Don’t tell your spouse you have an “Unable to Apologize Disorder.”  

Do refrain from keeping secrets.  

Don’t tell your husband about late public library fees.

Do tell your spouse how smart they are.

Don’t feel the need to look up something on the internet to prove them wrong.

Do enjoy a sense of humor with your spouse.

Don’t enjoy a sense of humor at your spouse’s expense “all the time”

Do let your spouse know you can’t imagine your life without them.

Don’t follow that up with, ‘I can’t imagine life without our [newest dog]”.

Seriously, eat a family meal whenever you are together at dinnertime as a family.

And…

Do Easter Miracles Still Happen?

I wasn’t looking for an Easter miracle.  Although getting to church early enough to get a seat would have been a nice surprise.

 I kept telling my family, “we are going to be on time”, but they were all right….
on time on Easter is very, very late.

On Easter eve, I asked my Walk to Emmaus Reunion Group to please pray for healing in my arm and shoulder. I was tired of the unexplained nerve zinging across my shoulder which felt like someone was playing the “Devil Went Down to Georgia” on a fiddle.  The zinging was hindering the diagnosis of other arm pain. That after a x-rays, a neck MRI, a shoulder MRI, a round of steroids, a steroid shot, a neck cortisone injection, 800mg of ibruphrophen regularly, and enough time with my PT I thought we were dating…. I was ready to be better and move on.   

I had a sweet friend take me to two of the mentioned my doctor appointments, because she said, “You take care of enough people, someone can take care of you!”  I shared with the group that maybe God wanted me to learn through this experience to learn to ask for help.   

Later that night, I helped the Easter Bunny fill the baskets and went to bed.  I was unable to sleep due to my jelly bean sugar high and my arm. I ran the scenario in my head of storming in my doctor’s office telling them “to just cut my arm off”.

Rushing the next morning to get ready for church “on time’, I didn’t give a lot of thought to my arm.  And we did eventually get a seat.  As I was listening to the sermon I thought, this is the first time my shoulder hasn’t hurt in church in forever.  I almost said something to my husband. 

Then the pastor says, paraphrasing of course, “as we were praying for today’s service and the church members, we felt like it was pressed upon us that someone was going find repair in their marriage, a grown man was going to cry for the first time ever, and someone was going to find healing in their arm.”  I looked at my husband wide eyed. 

Well folks, it’s been two days and it is feeling better than it has in months. 

So I am going to assume he was talking about me.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

Leaving of a legacy

When I first heard my 90 year old Grandma
had fallen ill and was terminal,
my first thought
(other than the gut wrenching sobbing and snot slinging)
was,

this...is the end..... of an era. 

 My mind said that she lived a wonderful and full 90 years,
but my heart was so very sad.

After travelling to NY to see her for the last time,
I no longer feel it is the end of an era.

 As God calls her home to be with my Grandpa
whom she loved dearly,
I now feel like it is the beginning of her legacy.



She is at home and most definitely
surrounded by love and family,

and it is how they are loving her that represents her legacy.

Loved ones praying for her,

gently holding her hand,

sleeping by her bedside or on the couch near her,

listening to the monitor in case she makes a sound,

giving medicine as needed,

calling from all over the world to let her know they love her

and hear her voice,

bringing flowers to her,

thanking her for everything she has done and 

all the prayers she has prayed,

 kissing her forehead,

and...

even arguing about what will make her most comfortable. 

 

Even in those moments of disagreement,

it is a example of how much she is loved.

 

 Not just one, but two priests came to pray with her at the house,

bring her communion and / or read her last rites.

If you include the priest from the hospital,

we think she had her last rites read three times, 

 she is in the Lord's hands.

 She is a witness for her love of the Lord

by the way she  clings to her rosaries saying prayers. 

 

 

 

This is all the mark of a woman who loved her children deeply,

all thirteen of them, 

and showed her family the power of love and prayer. 

 

A woman who taught those around her
to look at the world
 through rose colored glasses,

literally and figuratively.

 

She will be missed terribly,
as Grandpa is to this day,
however she will still live on in each person

that was lucky enough to know and love her.  

It is not just her legacy, but their legacy.

 And as she is being called home and takes this journey,

I pray for her to be at peace.

 

 

 

"Angels are everywhere,

one has only to be still to hear the rustle of a wing."

 

 

Trampoline Assembly for Dummies

Kids: "How long will it take?"

Husband: "It says it takes three really fit people to put it together."

Kids: "I'm hot" 

Me: "Let me know when you need some help." 

Kids: "Can I have a popsicle?"

Husband: "You just supervise, honey."

Me: "I'm only siting down so I could be out of your way"

Kids: "Can I have another Popsicle?" 

Me: "I gotta write this down, it would be a funny blog post."

Husband: "I could use your help."

Kids: "Are you actually writing this down for the blog?"

Husband: "That's all she does now is blog."

Me: "Did you read the instructions?" 

Kids: "Did you read the instructions?"

Husband: "I should have written the instructions."

The supplied tool on the left broke trying to pull  springs
Our tool on right, worked much better

• Kids: "I think Daddy cussed." 
• Me: "Maybe you need a break honey."
• Husband: "Hey, I'm in charge of this!" 
• Kids: "Are you taking a break Daddy?"
• Husband: "Just get working."



720 Minutes Later

Kids"Mommy's getting mad now. Mommy, maybe you need a popsicle?" 

Husband: "This...is the final frontier." 

Kids "That wasn't too hard." 

The 3 Rules of Marriage

I am not sure what I enjoyed the most out of my brother's wedding last weekend...quality time with my husband and kids, great memories with my whole family, or the "3 Rules of Marriage" Wedding Ceremony.

Oh, who am I kidding... the Wedding Ceremony. The Irish Catholic Priest had a great Maine accent and a surprising comedic humor. It started out familiarly with Readings, Prayers, and my brother and his wife kneeling, kneeling, and kneeling some more.

Then the Priest spoke about his 3 Rules of Marriage, and this is where the good stuff began.

1- Forgive your spouse. 

"If your spouse is truly sorry for something, and asks for forgiveness, then they shall be forgiven by you."
Simple Enough.

2- Don't go into your Marriage thinking it is 50/50.

"Don't go into it thinking everything is 'supposed' to be equal. Then you start keeping tabs..I did this, they didn't do that... and you both get angry and you should be giving, not keeping score."
Simple Enough.

3- Don't air your dirty laundry in public. (my favorite)

My husband starts elbowing me on this one. I can't imagine why? Well, honey, I am truly sorry for every time I made a joke about something you did to all my friends, so I shall be forgiven, right?  

What I have learned:
There is usually only one person at a party
with
a lampshade on their head

The Priest continues, "For example, now I don't know if the groom ever takes a drink" 

(the whole congregation on both sides starts laughing aloud, we had a keg at the rehearsal) "but if he does, say they are at a paatty (party), and it is really late in the night, 

and he decides to put a lamp shade on his head. 

We all know he would look like a jerk. But his wife has to smile and claim that he looks like a cute jerk.....or a funny jerk......or even a sexy jerk. Then when they get home, she can chew him out. But not at the paatty...." 

Then my husband whispers, "You think he has been married?" I responded, "No, it's all the marriage counseling he has done!"

I don't think there was a dry eye in the house, and as my husband and I were holding hands and I had my head on his shoulder, it was a nice reminder of 3 things we needed to remember.

So best wishes to my brother and his new wife, and all the couples that were there who took something meaningful away from their ceremony....