March 29, 2016

Do Easter Miracles Still Happen?

I wasn’t looking for an Easter miracle.  Although getting to church early enough to get a seat would have been a nice surprise.

 I kept telling my family, “we are going to be on time”, but they were all right….
on time on Easter is very, very late.
On Easter eve, I asked my Walk to Emmaus Reunion Group to please pray for healing in my arm and shoulder. I was tired of the unexplained nerve zinging across my shoulder which felt like someone was playing the “Devil Went Down to Georgia” on a fiddle.  The zinging was hindering the diagnosis of other arm pain. That after a x-rays, a neck MRI, a shoulder MRI, a round of steroids, a steroid shot, a neck cortisone injection, 800mg of ibruphrophen regularly, and enough time with my PT I thought we were dating…. I was ready to be better and move on.   

I had a sweet friend take me to two of the mentioned my doctor appointments, because she said, “You take care of enough people, someone can take care of you!”  I shared with the group that maybe God wanted me to learn through this experience to learn to ask for help.   
Later that night, I helped the Easter Bunny fill the baskets and went to bed.  I was unable to sleep due to my jelly bean sugar high and my arm. I ran the scenario in my head of storming in my doctor’s office telling them “to just cut my arm off”.

Rushing the next morning to get ready for church “on time’, I didn’t give a lot of thought to my arm.  And we did eventually get a seat.  As I was listening to the sermon I thought, this is the first time my shoulder hasn’t hurt in church in forever.  I almost said something to my husband. 

Then the pastor says, paraphrasing of course, “as we were praying for today’s service and the church members, we felt like it was pressed upon us that someone was going find repair in their marriage, a grown man was going to cry for the first time ever, and someone was going to find healing in their arm.”  I looked at my husband wide eyed. 

Well folks, it’s been two days and it is feeling better than it has in months. 
So I am going to assume he was talking about me.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

March 2, 2016

Conversations In a Closed MRI

MRI Nurse “This will be a piece of cake.”

Me “Oh, it is my third. I am good.” Why did I just brag about that, am I 75 years old? When is getting an MRI cool?

MRI Nurse “Just lie down and don’t move.”

Me “Got it. This is when I close my eyes and pretend not to be here.”

"Here we go now.
Don’t move, and Katie, don’t open your eyes. 
Do not open your eyes. 
Well the headphones fit tight now that the
machine just compressed my head.
I am glad I recently watched Star Wars, this sounds like I am fighting Darth Vadar. 
I should have asked for an eye mask.
Darth Vadar has a mask. 

Don’t open your eyes. 
Oh, a cool breeze. That’s nice, they have AC in here. 
I can relax, well, that is ironic. 
Don’t open your eyes. 
Are you kidding me, its blowing the one loose piece of hair that is on my forehead. 
I can’t reach it. Can you push the panic button for that?
Has anyone really had a full panic attack in one of these? 
Don’t move.  
Oh wait, now, wait for it, oh yes, 
I am inside a jackhammer on a NYC. Street.
Don’t open your eyes. 
Why are you curious if you are claustrophobic? 
This is why people take zanax before an MRI.
You can always push the panic button.
I wonder if anyone has died in one of these.
At least I have cool Nascar like headphones. 
Oh, now I am actually at a Nascar race. 
No, in the engine of the car.   
These headphones really should have music in them. 
And why is the pretty picture on the wall, I can’t see it from in here?
It is interesting that when you swallow the noise actually changes. 
Swallow, remember to swallow.
Oh crap, that’s a tickle. 
Now I have to sneeze. 
Really, if I sneeze, I will hit the roof of the machine and break my nose. 
Can you push the panic button for a sneeze?
Don’t move, whatever you do, don’t move.
Do not open your eyes.

Has a machine ever crushed someone?
Should I have researched this?
What is an MRI?
Is it going to kill me?
If there is metal in my mascara, will my eye lashes get sucked to the side of the machine? 
I am glad I skipped deodorant. The aluminum in it could make me get pulled into the machine.  
Now it sounds like I am living in a NYC apartment while renovations are going on. 
I can hear a phone ringing in the background.  
Answer the phone. Please.
Oh, its not really a phone. 
You moved! 
You moved your foot.
 This is for your shoulder, phew.
I wonder if I was supposed to have my arm by my side?
Was I allowed to have it crossed on my chest?
Darth Vadar is back. Didn’t I kill him a while ago?

MRI Nurse “I hate to wake you up, Katharine, but you are all finished.”

Now…that was funny.