- Go to church.
- Don’t spoil your children, but do spoil your husband.
- Act irrational and crazy once in a while around your husband so he doesn’t get spoiled.
- Play games. (Oh, not "play games" but "play" games like UNO, Yahtzee, checkers, wiffle ball, etc... )
- Don’t gloat when you win, or pout when you lose.
- Ask for forgiveness when you gloat when you win and pout when you lose.
- It is impossible for your children to only inherit just your fabulous, wonderful qualities.
- Love your children.
- Don’t judge people.
- Double check that your clothing or bathing suit covers up your birth control patch.
- If you are going to wear a thin skirt and be outdoors in the sunlight, it is a good idea to wear a slip.
- Don’t wear tan pantyhose with white pumps. Actually, don’t wear either.
- Don’t wear your husband’s camouflage fleece, pajama bottoms, and slippers when driving your children to school late. You will surely have to go sign them in at the school’s front office.
- If you decide to get spunky and wear shorts on that warm mid-winter day, remember to shave the legs you have neglected for 2 weeks.
- Enjoy the rain, it brings the sun. (If live you in Seattle, go to a movie and get a coffee.)
- Try growing a garden and camping, at least once.
- Be thankful for your parents.
- It is okay to go to therapy.
- If you have the option of laughing or crying, laugh.
- Apologize when you should.
- Appreciate your friends.
- Dog is a man's best friend.
- Ombre style hair is not when your dark roots grow out 4 inches, so book your next hair appointment as your leave your last hair appointment.
- Watch hoarders occasionally if you need help getting rid of things you don‘t use, need or like.
- Go to college.
- Nothing good happens after midnight.
- Don't drink and drive.
- Don’t let yourself get over-served. If you do, drink lots of water the next day and take ibuprofen, because you will wish you followed #26.
- Nap and occasionally sleep in. (also helpful for #28)
- Come to a full stop when a school bus has the “STOP” sign out.
- Donate money and/or time to a charity.
- Eat dinner as a family.
- Eat cereal for dinner if you don’t want to cook; teach your children to cook.
- A serving of ice cream is ½ cup, but a serving of Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies is 1 sleeve.
- Exercise.
- Brush and floss your teeth.
- Read something.
- Be thankful and keep pity parties short.
- Smile.
- Pray.
So I am not really 30-something, oh wait, I am for a few more days! |